the beginning of the end.

i have less than 2 months here on the cape. i remember when i wrote that i couldn't believe that i had been here for 2 months already......it is a cliche, but time really does fly when you're having fun.
so, what do i do with my last moments here? i am definitely trying to soak it all in. just tonite a few of us were congregated in the kitchen making our own individual snacks....just chatting....& then some more joined in and added some playful teasing & then more joined in & added some laughter....& then i was standing there in our war zone of a kitchen filled with dirty dishes, opened boxes of half-eaten snacks and a sandy floor realizing how much i am going to miss happenings like that once we are all gone from our little bubble of a world.
my friend lisa in the house posted a great quote in her blog (which you should check out under my list of "blogs i follow"....she went to school for english & is a far better writer than i!) from a book by wendell barry that reads:

"I have got to the age now where I can see how short a time we have to be here. And when I think about it, it can seem strange beyond telling that this particular bunch of us should be here on this little patch of ground in this little patch of time, and I can think of the other times and places I might have lived, the other kinds of man I might have been. But there is something else. There are moments when the heart is generous, and then it knows that for better or worse our lives are woven together here, one with one another and with the place and all the living things."

i think about this quote often & how it just matches perfectly with how i feel about this program and these people. tess came out to visit me a few weekends back, followed by emily & jackie over memorial day weekend. now.....tess, emily & i have all been friends since kindergarten (em & tess since birth, but really who's counting!?) and jackie & i have now been friends (& once roommates!) for about 4 years now. these girls know everything about me....they could probably tell you what i am thinking at any given time, but it took us years to be that close. my fellow housemates can do that now, only knowing me for 9 months. i can't imagine my life without any of them now, & i am perplexed at how i managed all this time without them. everyday, these people remind me why it is that i am here in this place at this point in my life. i could have stayed in madison. i could have gone to st. louis. i could still be in milwaukee! but i am here, with these people, in this wonderful place and life is great, but day by day i get closer to the end.

(*disclaimer: i also can't imagine my life without tess, emily & jackie....or any of my friends & family back home in wisco! their weekends here were brief & at times chaotic (tess had to endure alumni weekend...which included 60+ people walking around in identical sweatshirts) and at times not the best weather, but i thoroughly enjoyed their company and showing them my favorite spots on the cape!)

so....what is next? i am not sure. i was contacted by my old supervisor in madison who inquired if i was coming back or not....& i said NO. she was very supportive of my decision and even offered her services as a reference for me. they are such wonderful people, so i am glad that they harbor no bad feelings & only wish me the best. but now....i do not have a job. this is scary! but, i am not worried....yet. i am thinking i want to stay on the east coast. first choice is boston. i miss city life & want to get rid of my car! but.....can i realistically find a job that will make me enough money to afford rent? this i do not know. so, i am keeping my options open. i applied for a "forensic lab tech" position in OREGON with us fish & wildlife.....it would be helping with ANY animal necropsy, lab stuff....right up my alley! alas, i got an email saying that while i was qualified for the job (yay!)....i was not one of the most highly qualified, so i am not being considered for the position (booo!) you win some, you lose some. so....i am on the look out for jobs! i am pondering evironmental health & thinking of going back to school...someday.

so this is my life updated. friends = YAY!, future = scary, but not really, housemates = wonderfully amazing
because it is spring, we are getting to do more "fun" projects. i have spent some days shellfishing, digging up clumps of invasive grasses, clearing trails and on monday i get to help with the construction of an oyster reef...amazing! & then next weekend alex & i are going CAMPING at nickerson state park.....finally! i know i already said it in past posts, but.....LIFE IS GOOD!

xoox.

ABBEY